Butterflies
by cobrafantasies
Summary: There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly. Can an unexpected love bloom into something beautiful or stay bundled up forever?
1. The New Year

**Author:** Jen

**Author's Note:** Hey everyone, this is my first fan fic, so please read and review. I hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer: ** Unfortunately, I do not own anything or any of the characters.

**A/N:** Okay, so some background info you may need is takes place in season 9, Joey and Charlie never got together, but Ross and Charlie are presently together. Joey did fall in love with Rachel a year ago, but Rachel did not admit feelings for him yet and they never gave a romantic relationship a try, up to this point.

* * *

Rachel was walking home from a long day of work. She felt tired and her feet were starting to ache in her high heels. The streets of New York were crowded with people and yet, somehow, Rachel felt isolated. Maybe, it was when she passed intimate couples strolling through the park, she realized her hand had been empty for so long now. Or when she spotted an older man closing his shop for the night, only to be greeted by his three jolly children and wife; it was then Rachel yearned for a family she did not possess. Rachel couldn't help, but want someone to love and somebody to love her back. She had just spent Christmas with her friends, whom she loved, but now New Year's Eve was tomorrow and she would have no one special to kiss when the ball drops.

She thought about her friends. Monica and Chandler would happily kiss in a warm embrace at midnight and Ross, with his new girlfriend Charlie, would have someone to kiss as well. Even Phoebe just started dating a new guy. There was Joey, but all odds pointed to him bringing a date of his own. Although she had thought about Joey more than once lately, she was just a bit embarrassed to admit it. The truth was she did find him attractive, she couldn't forget about the crush she had on him when he first moved in. But too many other factors drove the thought away. The facts were: he was a womanizer, constantly breaking girls' hearts; it was doubtful he was looking to settle down anytime soon; and if things ended badly, it could ruin their friendship. That was what scared her the most. She knew he cared about her too much to ever hurt her on purpose, but she already almost lost him once. After he confessed he had feelings for her, about a year ago, they couldn't be around each other. She hated that brief time span of being without one of her closest friends. Which brings up another point, he did have feelings for her once, but he was long over them. That means she could be setting him or herself up for heartbreak.

She had now reached her apartment building and was making her way up the stairs. She entered an empty apartment. She took off her coat and dropped it, with her purse, on the Foosball table. A habit she was not fond of that she picked up from Joey. She checked for any messages and then grabbed a diet soda out of the fridge. She took a seat in Joey's barcalounger. She had started to sit in his chair, instead of the empty one beside it, because she was becoming slightly attached to his scent. She then began to realize that by doing things like sitting in Joey's chair and listing reasons why she should and shouldn't give them a try was making everything worse.

Just then, the apartment door opened and Joey walked in. The interruption from her thoughts startled her a little as she looked up at the source at all her questions. He slid off his backpack and let it fall to the floor and then threw his leather coat on top of Rachel's jacket.

"Hey Rach", he smiled at her.

"Hey, how was work?"

"Yeah, it was good, kind of slow today. How was your day?" He was receiving a soda of his own from the fridge and then took a seat on one of the bar stools.

"Fine", she shrugged casually. They seemed to sit there silently for a few moments. Joey continued to sip his soda, not sensing anything unusual.

"So, Monica's New Year's party tomorrow..." Rachel couldn't help, but wonder if he had a date yet.

"Yeah, should be fun", he responded simply. Rachel was partly annoyed she had to ask.

"Bringing a date, I assume?"

"Yeah, you?" Again his answer seemed to make her mad. It was almost like he was rejecting her at that very moment. Of course he had no idea how she was feeling and even though she completely expected his answer, disappointment must have gotten the best of her.

"Yeah", she practically grunted. Luckily he didn't notice. Instead he got up and kindly offered to dispose her empty can with his. She handed it over to him. '_Oh sure be all kind and polite to me now and then tomorrow you'll be with some flimsy date that I'll end up, awkwardly, running into the next morning_.' Rachel's thoughts were starting to sicken her. She couldn't figure out why she was getting so upset, she didn't normally care who Joey went out with. He looked up from the kitchen then.

"Well, I'm gonna head to bed, 'night Rach."

"Goodnight", she said in a thankfully normal voice. She watched him walk into his room and shut the door behind him. It was then Rachel was more shocked at her thoughts than ever before. She started to imagine what he was doing in his room… undressing. Which she knew was happening, he was changing out of his clothes to go to sleep. Rachel couldn't stop herself. She was picturing Joey sliding off the gray sweater he was wearing and then undoing the button and zipper of his jeans. Then she saw him throwing his pants to the floor. Finally, she forced herself to stop before it went past his boxers. She realized she was undressing Joey in her mind! Joey, her friend she had known for nine years, her roommate! She couldn't believe what she had at last concluded in her mind; she was falling for Joey.

* * *

Rachel didn't feel right; about liking Joey, about seeing him as anything more than her good friend. In a way, she couldn't understand how she could be having feelings for him, _actual_ feelings. '_Maybe it's just physical'_', she seemed to hope more than reason. Rachel thought back to one of the first times she started to look at Joey differently.

_~Flashback - one month ago _

It was a Friday evening. All six of the friends were going out to celebrate Monica's birthday, as well as an incredibly successful and entirely booked month at her restaurant. So this big dinner was being held at a fancy restaurant and Monica was enforcing very formal wear. So Joey and Rachel dressed in their nicest outfits, Rachel in her stunning red dress and Joey in his slick, black suit. They both went to catch a cab together. Rachel sat in the backseat with Joey becoming increasingly more and more bewildered. She felt flustered just sitting so close to him and didn't know why. Her thoughts seemed to be running wild ever since he walked out of his room looking so sharp in his suit and then _he_ couldn't take his eyes off _her_. When she walked out he just stared at her so intently. His eyes, so fixated on her, made her blush involuntarily. He complimented her like the gentleman he always is, but she found nothing too unusual. Now, in the backseat of the cab she couldn't control her thoughts.

'_Okay, yes, he looks handsome in his suit; he looks good tonight, so what? Lots of men look good when wearing nice clothes. Even Chandler can pull off sophisticated in an appropriate suit. _

_Yet, here I am enjoying his refreshing natural scent and cologne. Here I am wishing I could scooch closer to him in an already pretty close backseat. Here I am restraining the urge to run my fingers through his hair, which I swear looks soft as velvet tonight. _

_ And then he turns away from the window, just for second, and looks over at me. His dark, coffee brown eyes melt right into me. In this moment, I feel the desire to kiss his adorable face all over. I try to talk myself out of my own thoughts, to wake up and tell myself that it's Joey, but I know too well it's not a dream and soon my mind changes again. _

_For a moment, I picture what this ride would be like if we were together. I imagine him holding my hand, I bet it's soft, I bet his skin is so soft and smooth. I wonder if it is. So I begin to slide my hand closer to his, very slowly; inch by inch. It's still going, inching…inching…inching over and…_

"Rach?" Joey suddenly said, "Are you okay?" Rachel looked up, startled. Her hand didn't make it far so, luckily, her intention was not obvious.

"Yeah, why?" she breathed; grateful he can't read her mind.

"You're just really quiet and seem…distracted?" he pointed out.

"Oh, no I'm just excited for Monica. I was actually just thinking, about maybe what I might say. 'Cause I wanted to… uh make a speech for her, for her birthday and big night you know?" She sloppily tried to make up an explanation.

"Oh, Okay", Joey responded, still oblivious.

She let out a sigh of relief and then pushed the memory of the cab ride to the far back of her mind for the rest of the night.

* * *

When Rachel arrived across the hall, at the party, she entered a room full of excited guests. She immediately found her way to the drink table and poured herself a glass of wine. She then greeted all her friends, with the exception of Joey. He was out, picking up his date.

Monica must have noticed how often Rachel kept standing, quietly, off to the side; so she walked over to her.

"Hey, are you alright?" Monica inquired.

"Yeah, I'm fine", Rachel tried to assure her. Monica gave her a look as to say she knew that wasn't true. "Okay, it's no big deal. I've just been feeling really…lonely lately."

"Oh, well Rachel I can set you up with someone", Monica suggested.

"No, no I would rather just find a guy on my own."

"Well, you will sweetie", Monica said optimistically.

"Thanks", Rachel replied, knowing she would cave in to telling Monica the actual truth eventually.

Finally, Joey arrived at the party. Rachel turned to see him come through the door and then her mouth dropped as he closed the door behind him; alone. She couldn't believe he, in fact, came alone to the party. Just as Rachel was about to go over to him, Phoebe beat her to it.

"Well, better late than never Tribbiani", Phoebe joked to him.

"Sorry Pheebs", he returned her kidding smile.

"Hey, Joey, see that guy over there", she pointed to a guy that must have been some kind of extreme body builder. Joey nodded after spotting the guy.

"That's my date", she giggled cheerfully. Joey just chuckled at her excitement as she went over to him. Of course, Joey now started poking around the food laid out on the table. Rachel walked over.

"Hey, Joe, where's your date?" Rachel did her best to sound casual.

"Oh, well, it didn't work out".

Rachel had to stop from showing how thrilled this made her. She looked down at the food so her eyes wouldn't bulge out of her head like some over-exaggerated cartoon.

"What happened?"

"Well, she sort of called it off when I…" he began, not wanted to tell her.

"What, Joey?" she nearly laughed at his shyness.

"When I… hinted to a threesome with her and her roommate", he smirked. She smirked back at him. 'Same old Joey' her expression told him. Then she playfully shook her head in disapproval and he gave her a sheepish smile she couldn't help but find insanely adorable.

Somehow, Rachel made it through the party, talking to some guests and of course her friends. She found it actually irritating when one guy started hitting on her and that freaked her out, that she was more into Joey than she even knew. Then, it appeared her nightmare was approaching. When Ross quickly ran off to find Charlie she looked at the clock to see there were only two minutes to go before the ball dropped. Chandler turned up the T.V. volume and everyone scrambled to locate their dates or someone to kiss. Rachel wished she could just go home or better yet be swallowed up by some deep, dark hole to escape these next two minutes. After thirty more seconds, just about everyone was ready; eyes glued to the screen. Rachel spotted Joey in the living room; he looked like he was flirting with some girl. The sight gave Rachel a pain in her stomach. As if the sight shot all the butterflies, dead, which usually flutter inside her, when seeing Joey. Rachel turned away; from Joey, the T.V., and everyone.

"One minute!" A person shouted. Rachel shut her eyes, dreading how long this minute was taking. Then a hand tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around to see the face that renewed life to the butterflies inside her.

"Hey, Rach", Joey said.

"Hey."

"I was wondering if I could kiss you at midnight."

Rachel knew it was just a friendly offer because they both had no one else to celebrate with, but Rachel didn't care. In that second, the minute she had been dreading all night turned out to be the most anticipated minute ever for her.

"Sure", she responded. He turned to watch the T.V. beside her.

'_Thirty more seconds and I get to kiss Joey!' _It amazed her how simply he was able to turn her whole night around. Soon the countdown was beginning.

"Ten, nine, eight, seven…" Rachel took a step closer to him and could barely wait.

"Four, three, two…" She took in a joyful breath.

"One!"

"Happy New Year!" Everyone shouted. Joey turned to Rachel with his arms extended to meet hers. They leaned in to share a kiss. The kiss was warm and gentle, but much too short in Rachel's opinion. They withdrew to complete a snuggled hug. Rachel was still taking in the kiss as the warmth of Joey enveloped her in their hug. To stop her smile from lingering too long, she looked away instantly after their hug.

"Still nothing, huh?" Joey jokingly referenced to the time they kissed at New Year's a couple of years ago. That's when Rachel realized that they had kissed before and it was true. When he asked her back then if the kiss did anything for her, it really didn't. Now the smallest kiss did everything for her.

Now she had to quickly think of something to say.

"Yeah, right", she said and then tried to laugh at his remark, but it came out as more of a nervous laugh. He looked at her strangely, but then just smiled at her. She took a sigh of relief when the rest of their friends came over to wish them a happy new year.


	2. Love Note

The next few weeks Rachel impressed even herself by keeping her feelings as subtle as possible. She was fortunately able to act normal and get along with Joey just as they always had. So to say Joey never had the slightest clue was right on target; then again sometimes that was always safe to say, with Joey.

He never noticed that whenever he wasn't looking, Rachel found herself staring. Or when he would come out of his bedroom, she would address his outfit for the day by sneaking a glance at him up and down. He couldn't know about her daydreams when she was bored at work or the secret fantasies she couldn't help but dream up at night. And he would have to be a mind reader to know that all the time she is just dying to confront him. Most of the time she goes over long ways to tell him and other times her mind works differently.

_'Maybe if I just push him up against a wall and start kissing him, he'll just get the hint. Or I could just walk over to him and start undressing him, although, if I know Joey at all, he would most likely prefer __**me **__to undress. Yeah…I should probably just talk to him.'_

Well, that plan didn't seem to go as well as planned, seeing that she never actually talked to him. She would walk out of her room, ready with anything to say and then merely stand there, feeling like a buffoon, and completely crack under pressure. A couple of times Joey didn't even notice she was there. Another time he asked her if she was alright.

It appeared, to Rachel, her new "infatuation" with Joey was growing and continued to occupy her mind persistently.

_So, this isn't working, at all. I'm going crazy, since we kissed. All I think about is touching him and kissing him. It keeps getting worse each week. Sometimes I really wish I would explode rather than be tortured every night knowing he's only in the next room. And when he has a woman over, I have to force back burning tears; that's how much of a girl I am. In times like those, it is so easy to hate him for not loving me back. But then, I see him smile or do something so simple that at the same time is so sweet. I love how it is just Joey being Joey and I fall all over again._

_

* * *

_

One day, Rachel was sitting on the yellow couch with a pen and notepad. She was supposed to be completing some kind of idea for work. Of course, her mind was drawing blanks to no end. She was incessantly tapping her pen on the page, as if that would derive a thought. Unknowingly, she began to doodle on her paper. Little love notes fell from the pen, the ink dotting her i's to complete the sentence: 'Why is your smile so beautiful'? She ripped the small paper away to force herself back to work. Again, a sentence formed on the next page: 'My heart is talking to me, I've got to take notes; it's you…you…you'.

She tore that paper off as well and then gave up on her work.

'_What a waste', _Rachel complained to herself.

The next day Joey came home from work, with a grin on his face. He stared Rachel down after eyeing her.

"Yes?" She questioned his odd behavior.

"Rach, do you hear that?" He looked all around, trying to find where this sound was coming from. Rachel heard nothing.

"No, what is it?"

He looked back at her with a mischievous smirk. "Oh, wait that's just my – heart talking to me".

Rachel froze, not able to move. She felt her face burst into a dark shade of red.

"What?" She whispered, barely audible. He was holding back a laugh as his smile was beaming brightly.

"Do you, maybe, have a little crush on someone who you think…oh I don't know has a _beautiful_ smile, Rachel?" He taunted her. She looked away, wishing this wasn't happening.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Sitting on the bar stool, she turned her face away and slide around to the other side. He walked around the island and stood in front of her. He reached inside his coat pocket and took out the two pieces of paper she wrote on yesterday. She stared at them in discomforting disbelief.

"'Cause, if you want, I'll deliver them; just tell me who to send them to".

"No, okay, no I was just writing stupid little … nothings! Just forget it!" She swiftly snatched the papers out of his hands. She walked away from him and kept her back to him, although could feel his shock at her outburst.

"I'm … sorry, I was just joking around. Rach, are you okay?" His voice was so sincere. She instantly felt guilty for making him feel bad.

"Yeah, I was just embarrassed", she spoke softly and turned to face him again. She looked up to find a compassionate, yet perplexed Joey.

"Can I have a hug?" Rachel held her arms open with an innocent smile. Slowly, the ends of his mouth curved into his never failing, incredible, smile. With no more than a few steps he was inches away, closing the space between them. His arms wrapped around her with assured comfort. Then his head moved right below her ear and he whispered, "You can have as many hugs as you want".

Hugs were not all Rachel wanted and the feel of his warm breath on her neck was spurring up other ideas.

Her arms were around his shoulders blades and her right hand uncontrollably moved up, past his neck, to the ends of his jet, black hair. After a few more seconds he pulled his head back so he could look at her. Her hand was preventing him from releasing completely so, therefore, he was waiting for her to separate from the hug. Instead, Rachel remained in the tight embrace and let her eyes drift from his eyes to his lips.

_I'm not sure what happened in this moment, but I felt like I was simply staring at the soft lips of a stranger. I forgot it was Joey, I forgot about the consequences and complications of my desired actions. Unfortunately, I acted on instinct. I convinced myself that right now was real and it was what I wanted, as if at any moment it could disappear. And so I feared something was about to slip away, I tried to make it last._

Rachel leaned in and let her lips quickly graze his. He froze, stunned at what just happened. So, Rachel just kissed him again and let her lips linger a bit, this time. When she withdrew, she looked at him and wondered if his eyes had been open the entire time. He was staring back at her with confusion and regret. He was probably thinking he should have stopped this the moment it began. He opened his mouth to speak, but all words were lost. It didn't matter to Rachel; she preferred silence since she knew he would say nothing good. So, she decided to interrupt his attempt to speak, taking advantage of the opportunity, and gave him an open mouth kiss. When she deepened the kiss, he eventually began to kiss her back. She wasn't sure he ever would, but was very pleased when he did. She thought she was enjoying his lips on their own, but when he was actually kissing her back it was better than she ever imagined.

To her dismay, it ended again as he pulled away forcefully.

"Rachel…" he looked completely lost and kept distancing himself from her. When there were a few solid feet in between them he continued to try to justify his actions.

"I'm sorry, I didn't… I mean… why, why did you kiss me?" he asked, dumbfounded. The funny thing was, Rachel wasn't even sorry or embarrassed, nor did the situation appear awkward. It just felt right and she was only disappointed it ended.

"I…I don't know, I liked kissing you", She admitted plainly. This response was surprising to him; he probably didn't expect her to act so calm or be so open. He looked down at his feet, seeming like he was thinking. She wished he would say something after minutes were literally going by.

"Well – do you want to kiss me again?" This time Rachel was the astonished one. The man that lived off his loyalties and never crossed any lines with the people he truly cared about. This man, standing right before her, actually asked the last thing she thought he would ever say. The only other thing she would pray for right now is that they would actually get to kiss again.

Rachel suppressed a smile as he looked directly at her. She bit her tongue to keep her cool and simply nodded as a substitute for an answer. He took a step forward and butterflies, unexpectedly, spurted into her stomach.

"Well, what if _I_ kissed you?" He took another step forward and they were almost as close as they were before.

"I would like that", I replied with a subtle smirk. '_This guy really has to stop saying everything I am dying for him to say.''_

"Why, do you _like_ me?" he asked her. Rachel suddenly felt shy at the thought of admitting this newfound interest. Every moment, dream, and fantasy she had thought about flooded into her mind at this moment and made her blush once again.

"Maybe…" she said in a childlike voice, her cheeks reddened more from that. She spotted the makings of a small grin on his face. He bit his lip back, obviously trying to hide it, but she couldn't help but find it sexy. Heat was slowly radiating from her skin. "Your kisses don't hurt the argument", she added. This time he showed off a proud grin, she knew he would appreciate a compliment.

"Then, maybe, we should settle this", he suggested, playfully.

"Maybe we should", her smiled beamed a bit too happily. It only took a couple of more seconds for him to take a last step closer, but she believed time had stopped; it was taking so long. He was only a few inches away. A million tiny insecurities filled her mind. Those worries were erased instantly when he put his hand on her cheek. His touch was so light; it was if he was barely touching her. She could feel his warm skin just enough to feel her cheek tingle. He moved his hand down. His eyes looked into hers. At first, she saw a glance of nervousness, but thankfully, that subsided into something genuine. Maybe it was their friendship or how he had always truly cared for her. Then, Rachel had no more ideas because the next thing she knew his lips were on hers. She melts into the feeling of it all. Somehow, his skills have managed to improve once again, probably because he initiated the kiss this time.

After these bliss moments, he released his lips. Then his mouth showcased a confident smile, Rachel knew he was enjoying the glorious effect his kisses had on her. He was pretty conceited sometimes, but right now Rachel figured he had a reason to.

"So, how was that?" He used a sure voice that concluded he assumed only one response. I took my time to answer.

"Actually … I'm not so sure", she played. She watched his smile slowly fade and his eyebrows knit together with uncertainty.

"Wha- what do you mean?" he wanted to keep his cool, but Rachel could tell she clearly caught him off guard. She tried to downsize her smirk.

"Well, I just felt there wasn't enough time to truly make an informed decision", she pretended with a professional-like voice. His eyebrows raised, still not catching on to the game.

"Hmmm, oh well, what is there to do?" Rachel stated in a sweet voice and then started to look around to give off a sense of boredom. Then it hit him.

"Oh, wellll..." his words came off shaky, at first, which she never anticipated to hear from Joey Tribbiani. He paused and then continued with a steady and partly suggestive tone. "I could help you out with that, if you'd like".

"I guess so", she teased again. She swayed her foot back and forth, avoiding eye contact with him. She could feel him smiling a few feet away. Then, amazingly, he was right in front of her, his hands lifting her face up. He held her face in his hands and then planted a forceful kiss on her lips. He became more and more passionate and Rachel tried to match his affection. Then he pulled back abruptly, while leaving his hands on her face, and just watched her. Rachel was left breathless from his actions.

_I was wrong; I shouldn't have hesitated all these weeks. We should have been doing this a long time ago. It's incredible the power his kisses and touches how over me. And watching him watching me with his hands so demandingly still holding my face is making this moment so romantic. Joey Tribbiani, who knew he really did have some moves up his sleeves._

He finally released his hands, slowly, still enforcing a consistent gaze. She couldn't resist staring back; she didn't want to look away. She was feeling her body fill with joy and was very satisfied she finally acted on her desires. She wanted him to know, felt he needed to know, now.

"It was you", she told him, letting out a long breath. He looked at her, tentatively.

"What?" he smiled at her. She simply reached into her jean pocket and pulled out the small paper, handing it over to him. He held the note in his hand, the same one he had just held up in front of her, making fun of it.

"So, for how long?" He inquired, with a guilty tone now. She shrugged.

"A couple of weeks now, maybe a month".

"A month! Why didn't you say anything?" he expressed.

"How, Joey, you know how complicated this could be". She answered. He sighed.

"Yeah, you're right", he said and read the paper in his hand once again.

"Rachel…"

She watched him, waiting for him to continue.

"It's been you, it is you… still", he told her. She had been wondering for so long now, never sure if it would be appropriate to ask. She must have been glowing in delight at his words. She could never have predicted this moment, falling for her friend, who had confessed his love for her a year ago, and now wanted it so badly after rejecting him the many months before. But here it was, plain and simple, a love was given and a love was returned. She moved closer to him and kissed him gently on the lips.

"Thank you".


End file.
